Not daddy's little girl.

I realize there are no perfect families, but I just have to vent about this...

So, my whole life I've had a hard time interacting with my father. And, I think one thing that doesn't help the situation is that my mother is fairly open with me about things my father says to her, about me. For example, I will hear from my mother "Your father said that you (insert fairly negative comment here, like...) could be helping out more around the house." or "would look better if you ..." This maybe sounds like reasonable complaints from my father. But, the thing is, is that I don't need to hear it from my mother. My mother should decide whether or not she agrees with the statement and deliver it me as she believes it should be. I grew up (and still feel this way) feeling like my father is always critisizing me and that I am never good enough. I will never forget my father asking me (so, this is coming directly from the source and not from my mother) as I was walking out the door one day to go school, if I didn't want to brush my hair. My hair didn't measure up to his standards, and he wanted it brushed, or just different. This is hurtful. Especially to a girl in her teens who is going through a lot of other crap. And of course, he probably doesn't recall saying this to me, but I will always remember. Kids are sensitive, or maybe I just am. When I was going through my fat years (and there still may be more to come -- who knows), I knew that the pressure to lose weight from my parents was mostly coming from my father.

I have a great father. I realize this, but it's hard for children to feel like they are never doing enough or meeting their parent's expectations. My dad grew up under some really hard circumstances; so what he has provided for in a family is amazing and he may believe that we are a perfect family, but we aren't and part of me wants him to recognize the fact that we don't get along and that's okay. However, I know that hiding the true facts (that you all don't get along) is a necessary way in which families interact and remain somewhat intact.

I'm just not daddy's little girl. I don't know if I ever have been. I think I grew up really quick.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

Another short tangent --- in addition to the huge number of other activities, events, and people they are interacting with, my parents do A LOT of work around the house. It is great that they are such do-it-yourself type people, but it stresses everybody else out with whom they interact. They've got a lot going on right now with getting ready to go on a mission - HIRE someone to do all the yardwork. HIRE someone to help with packing. HIRE someone to put in the stone walkway. I realize these are all expenses, and maybe they don't have the funds. I also realize that even if they do have the funds, they maybe feel these are all things they can take care of on their own and allocate their funds towards other things. I understand this. Certainly. However, DON'T make your kids feel bad for not helping out. This isn't our life. It's yours. We've got our own lives to keep in order or get in order. I've said it once, and I'll say it again -- I don't think kids should feel the pressure of a budget. Even your adult kids should be taken shopping every once in awhile. Am I right? Besides for Christmas or birthdays. Buy them something nice. Pay for groceries. My parents don't do this, and there's a good possiblity they don't want to infringe upon my independence, which they know is necessary since I'm an adult and everything. They also feel it's necessary to teach responsibility. I get it. I know how to be a responsible adult. Been doing it for awhile now. This doesn't mean that not having to pay for a needed dress or sweater every once in awhile wouldn't be very appreciated.

And. done.