So, I SUCK at the dating game. I fail, time and time again. I don't know what it is about me.
This post is dedicated to my good friend, Sierra, because her knowledge on the subject matter never fails to impress me.
Her knowledge can be summed up by the following phrase she said to me once: (and this isn't word for word -- it was much funnier and phrased much better when she said it to me) "It's so hard because you have to show that you are interested, but you can't come right out and say it, even if you want to, because if you do that then even if they were interested, they won't be anymore, because you showed your interested too early."
Now who are the people that struggle with dating? I think it's those of us who are too sensitive. We don't know how to handle the sensitive emotions we've got bottled up inside of us. We care too much about people. So, how have I dealt with this trait? I know exactly what I've done...I've built a wall. My wall surrounds me so completely and is so thick that I don't know who or when or ever I could ever let it down. I don't let people in because I fear realizing who they really are and then wanting to distance myself, and that's just too hard to do. Why would I want to distance myself? Well, I think basically because I find that people annoy me and it's more effort to be around them then to not be. I also find the whole getting to know you process somewhat painful. You might think you want to commit to dating them, or to be their friend, but what if you change your mind, and how do you know how committed they want to be? Of course, this is all retarded and this should happen naturally, but I've grown up knowing that life requires effort and God knows I've tried to combat this endlessly.
It's good that my good friends are the only people that read this, because I'm revealing way too much information about myself.
2 comments:
I know dating is weak sauce. You know, regarding your other post about how laid back you really are...People in Virginia are so not laid back. I thought you were exaggerating a bit but they really are uptight. really nice weather though.
Hey Meredith! I haven't checked blogs or responded to anyone's blog forever--I've been all over the U.S. But your dating post is awesome and I want to respond to it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was crazy about a boy named Thomas Kohler before my mission and I thought we were going to get married. He got married while I was on my mission and it stunk SO badly to try to date again when I got back. Eventually, it became fun again, but the idea of finding "Mr. Right" was just way too much for me for awhile.
I did best with dating when I looked at it as a cool way to begin knowing people--kind of an insider's look into the life of one of Heavenly Father's children. It became a treasured experience. I knew I'd most likely not end up with the guys I dated, but I still appreciated them, and was thrilled to know them.
How many people in the world do we really get to know? Dating gives us that chance with more people, and that's awesome.
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