So, I'm at church on Sunday and I'm not even kidding 3 guys got my phone number. I couldn't believe it! So, I was driving home after and called Katie. She didn't answer. I called Mary. She didn't answer. I called Hunter. He didn't answer. So, I'm seriously dying! Why the hell won't anybody answer their phone! I can't remember if I tried anybody else...maybe Sierra. Fortunately, everybody got back to me in a reasonable amount of time.
So, they all heard how the events of my Sunday went down, but it's worth getting down in writing, and here's where my encounter with special needs comes in.
I'm standing there talking to some people in like a little circle after church, and this guy "S." (we'll call him) seriously jumps right into the middle of the circle from nowhere near the vicinity to talk to me specifically. He didn't say hi to anybody else - just me, which is fine, just unusual, because I barely know the guy. Some background on S. ... He really does have some disabilities and special needs. I'm unsure about the exact definition of MR and I should know. He doesn't seem to have any physical limitations. He struggles in his speech - stuttering, lisps, spitting, etc.
Anyways, so we start talking (away from the circle -- I had to urge him out), and he tells me he was fired from work this week.
"Oh, that's too bad," I say. "Are you upset about it? Did something happen?"
He then proceeds to tell me that he was fired for harassing a girl at work. However, it's pretty hard to understand him, and he was struggling to say the word "harassing." So, because I'm not understanding him I am needing clarification several times, and he is providing further information.
"Harassing, Harassing - like sexually. No, no, but I didn't have sex with her - just like harassing." This sentence is said a couple times, making me feel more and more uncomfortable. The reason for it being said a couple times is that I was still struggling to understand him.
"Wait, what?" I say. And finally, "Oh, harassing. Okay."
And then S. again, "Yeah, so, like I didn't have sex with her, but like harassing like asking her out on dates all the time." Not even kidding next sentence out of his mouth: "Can I get your phone number?"
Me: "Umm, yeah, okay."
And then, here's where the bad part comes in. I really saw that he put in a 702 area code, and I didn't correct him. I don't have a Las Vegas area code.
Next day at FHE, he walks right up to me, "So, I'm kind of mad at you." He then tells me that he tried to call the number several times and some guy was really rude to him, and I think he was even trying to tell me some of the awful things that were said to him, but I couldn't really understand him. I felt so horrible.
So, I explained that he probably had put the wrong area code in, and that I have a 703 and Virginia area code.
I know, I know, I'm an awful, awful person.
And then I get a call from S. Monday night. He leaves a voice mail and asks that I call him back. I haven't yet. Remember, I'm busy...I've got a lot of things I have to think about during the day. So, the question is what should I do? What do you think other girls do when he asks them for their phone number? Do they just avoid the situation? I can't be mean. It really is a difficult situation. I could just call him. Even go out with him? There's no question he's a better person than I.
Suggestions? Guidance?
I'll do a separate post on dating, but just to get started...how do you decide when to give guys a chance and when to not?
3 comments:
Hmm. This is a difficult situation. What song lyrics can be most helpful here? You have to be cruel to be kind? Maybe. But not too cruel. You have to be courteous.
I think you should return his phone call and be pleasant to him, but I do not think you owe it to him to go on a date. In fact, I think you should NOT go on a date. That could create some trouble for both of you, and courtesy does not dictate that you go on dates with people with whom you are obviously not going to pursue any sort of relationship (other than potentially a legal one as in Plaintiff-Defendant.)
When he asks you on the date, I think you should tell him you are busy. Do not offer an alternative date or time. Continue to say you are busy the next 1-2 times he asks. If he continues to ask you out, say that you are interested in someone else. It is sort of true, right? Even if you have not met that someone yet. On second thought, maybe skip right to being interested in someone else. This guy might need to be stopped before he gets momentum.
As long as you are SURE you don't want to date him. :)
I do think this is blog-worthy. As long as there is no way it would get back to him!
I'm with Alex on this one. I can't believe that dialogue about how he got fired for sexual harassment and would now like to get your number!
I think you should be straight with him. When he calls, just be honest and polite, letting him know that you DO not want to go out with him. If you could conjure up a love or like interest with someone else, that would be great as well. Saying you're interested in someone else is a pretty firm deterrant.
This is the blog that I came to your page for. I love it. Totally worth it. I'm sorry I have no words of wisdom for you. I'm just glad it's you and not me. Haha!
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