So, I randomly found this person's blog (The Single Mormon Girl's Guide to Life) and I am NOT going to read it more, because I just don't care, and if I were to read it, I think I'd be doing the opposite of what her own suggestions are. So, here's the quote:
"I think sometimes as LDS Spinsters we try too hard. We try too hard to be at the right place at the right time, to be wearing the right oufit, to go to all the right activities, and to say and do all the right things. And it’s not that we shouldn’t be trying to put ourself in situations where we can be blessed to meet the right person, but we should be careful not to try too hard.
"I think all of you know what I mean by trying too hard. It is acting in desperation. It is being someone we are not. It is being somewhere we don’t want to be. It is going against the grain of our lives. It is living in fear instead of in faith. Trying too hard makes us seem desperate. It just makes unhappy because when we try too hard we get caught up in some exact outcome that we expect and when those things that we want don’t always happen we are unhappy and hurt.
"Instead we need to live where we want to live, wear the outfit that makes us feel like a million bucks, go to the activities that actually interest us, and say and do only the things that reflect who we actually are at our best."
The thing is, is that I've definitely been on the reverse side. I've gone through a stage where I didn't try, or didn't think it was possible for me, to look good (for example). It was a really hard period in my late teens/early 20s to go through, because I kept convincing myself that I was taking the higher route, and that by not looking really good I was actually focusing more highly on the things of most importance in life. To some degree it is still a dichotomy that I struggle with; however, I've also just grown up, realized that I like working out (sweating was ingrained into me from all my years of ballet) and I was raised to eat healthy, and like doing so, but perhaps my metabolism has balanced out as well. It needed some years to recover from trauma I was putting it through with ballet. A daily schedule of not eating for 24 hours and then eating and throwing it up for years is not good for your body. I feel like even just recently I've become precisely aware of what weight I need to maintain to be happy. Girls' weight fluctuate so much, but I feel like it's a good thing to know the weight I want to be for the rest of my life.
2 comments:
I feel that from the time you are 14 yrs old to your late twenties it's a time to find out who you are and what makes you happy. So that's basically 15 years figuring things out. I love my late-late 20's...in the words of Shania Twain--"man, I feel like a woman!"
I think the bottom line with all of this is that you are AMAZING! To come out of an eating disorder is a huge deal. Someone in my extended family had a terrible eating disorder (ED?) and it was bad enough that she won't weigh herself anymore. She's an aerobics instructor and cares about how she looks, but she just watches her behavior really carefully. She says having an eating disorder is like being in hell. So way to emerge out of that.
I know you know this, but the fact that you're single doesn't deplete your amazingness in any way.
Thanks for your wonderful posts and your friendship. I still remember a lesson you taught during high school at church one day, and I think you're a gifted teacher and communicator.
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