Words I hate...

There are two words I really hate. They are:

Sassy and Sexy

I'm just really not comfortable with these words being used in everyday communication.

Who seriously says the word sassy? I mean, what does it even mean? There are certainly better and more descriptive words to get your point across than sassy.

And sexy? I don't even like typing the word.

Words you hate?

Close vs. Independent...

I know that Kenz and I have had a couple conversations on this topic, but I thought I'd open it up, because I'm curious what other people think about it. Maybe it's really not something you care about or think about, but I've thought about the subject a fair amount.


So, I think over the years I've wished that I had closer relationships with some of my siblings. It just seems that there are some families where all the kids are like best friends.


The thing is that our parents raised us to be a united, happy family, but they also raised us to be really independent, and to kind of go out and start our own families.


It's interesting that maybe Spencer has kind of craved the family togetherness that our family has not had. I think he also just really didn't want to live in the D.C. area. I think he feels to a certain extent that he fits in better with a more relaxed, and easy-going atmosphere. So, I am 100% sure that he'll live in St. George for the rest of his life, since Trina's family is all there.


I really love the idea of having cousins close and having them grow up running around together. It is fun to go to see Spencer and to kind of feel that I'm an aunt to Tally and Cort, et al. in addition to Sam, Lesil, Kib, et al.

I would love to live near my siblings as I'm raising kids. I can see Aaron and Steph in the D.C. area forever. Hunter could be there forever too. Who knows where Carter and Brooke will end up. I don't know if I see them living in St. Paul forever, but they do really like it.

I am really grateful that my parents raised us to be really strong-willed (maybe, too strong) and independent and I do think we are all close, but just not all best friends and calling each other all the time. Hunter and I talk a good amount now just because we are both going through the same things. And I don't know the last time I really talked to Spencer, which is incredibly sad to me, because we used to be so close. I know we are just going through a tough spot, and we'll get through this with time. I just really feel he doesn't have time, or kind of even want to be a part of my life right now.

I really am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. You are all great.

Just an update on special needs...

So, I DID call him back on Thursday (he had called on Monday). It was totally fine. Saw him Friday night at a party, saw him today at church. He's only called a couple times during this period...He called Friday, but I hadn't gotten around to listening to his message and then I saw him. He called Saturday too, I'm pretty sure. He'll definitely be contacting me on a regular basis it seems, which is fine. I can handle it. A friend says she always just says to him when he asks for her number, "Don't you already have it?" which is funny and pretty clever. I just don't know how to respond at those pivotal moments. He's really a nice guy, and the sexual harrassment thing I don't think is really going to be an issue.

Dating and an encounter with special needs.

So, Katie tells me this is blog worthy. I believe her, but if anybody is offended or disappointed in me, please, please put in my place.


So, I'm at church on Sunday and I'm not even kidding 3 guys got my phone number. I couldn't believe it! So, I was driving home after and called Katie. She didn't answer. I called Mary. She didn't answer. I called Hunter. He didn't answer. So, I'm seriously dying! Why the hell won't anybody answer their phone! I can't remember if I tried anybody else...maybe Sierra. Fortunately, everybody got back to me in a reasonable amount of time.


So, they all heard how the events of my Sunday went down, but it's worth getting down in writing, and here's where my encounter with special needs comes in.


I'm standing there talking to some people in like a little circle after church, and this guy "S." (we'll call him) seriously jumps right into the middle of the circle from nowhere near the vicinity to talk to me specifically. He didn't say hi to anybody else - just me, which is fine, just unusual, because I barely know the guy. Some background on S. ... He really does have some disabilities and special needs. I'm unsure about the exact definition of MR and I should know. He doesn't seem to have any physical limitations. He struggles in his speech - stuttering, lisps, spitting, etc.


Anyways, so we start talking (away from the circle -- I had to urge him out), and he tells me he was fired from work this week.


"Oh, that's too bad," I say. "Are you upset about it? Did something happen?"


He then proceeds to tell me that he was fired for harassing a girl at work. However, it's pretty hard to understand him, and he was struggling to say the word "harassing." So, because I'm not understanding him I am needing clarification several times, and he is providing further information.


"Harassing, Harassing - like sexually. No, no, but I didn't have sex with her - just like harassing." This sentence is said a couple times, making me feel more and more uncomfortable. The reason for it being said a couple times is that I was still struggling to understand him.


"Wait, what?" I say. And finally, "Oh, harassing. Okay."


And then S. again, "Yeah, so, like I didn't have sex with her, but like harassing like asking her out on dates all the time." Not even kidding next sentence out of his mouth: "Can I get your phone number?"

Me: "Umm, yeah, okay."


And then, here's where the bad part comes in. I really saw that he put in a 702 area code, and I didn't correct him. I don't have a Las Vegas area code.


Next day at FHE, he walks right up to me, "So, I'm kind of mad at you." He then tells me that he tried to call the number several times and some guy was really rude to him, and I think he was even trying to tell me some of the awful things that were said to him, but I couldn't really understand him. I felt so horrible.


So, I explained that he probably had put the wrong area code in, and that I have a 703 and Virginia area code.


I know, I know, I'm an awful, awful person.


And then I get a call from S. Monday night. He leaves a voice mail and asks that I call him back. I haven't yet. Remember, I'm busy...I've got a lot of things I have to think about during the day. So, the question is what should I do? What do you think other girls do when he asks them for their phone number? Do they just avoid the situation? I can't be mean. It really is a difficult situation. I could just call him. Even go out with him? There's no question he's a better person than I.


Suggestions? Guidance?

I'll do a separate post on dating, but just to get started...how do you decide when to give guys a chance and when to not?

Osguthorpe Return...Sibling Dynamics

Maybe due to the passing holiday, I am feeling so grateful for my blessings.

I have a wonderful family. And although, my parents drive me crazy a lot of the time, they are wonderful people and have taught me so much. It's kind of overwhelming when I think about each of my siblings. They are amazing, accomplished people, and have given me perfect examples of who I want to be and follow in my life.

There's a big age difference between Carter and I and we haven't always talked a ton. Everybody knows what a great person he is. And I love Brooke. It's sad I don't get to see them frequently. I'm coming in the fall, I think!

August in St. Paul with Carter, Brooke, Davis, Mason, Sadie, Harrison, Mom, and Hunter

Stephanie and Aaron and family are moving back to the states. I'm really excited for them to be back. London is just too far. They'll be moving to McLean. Aaron has accepted a job with a new company and will be working at Tyson's. My parents have been looking for homes for them in McLean. It's funny to talk to the girls on the phone. They've definitely acquired little British accents.

At Anna's baptism in London -- with Mom and Dad, Steph, Aaron, Paige, Juliette, Sam, and Russ and Lolly

Hunter and I were talking recently about something interesting (or depressing) and this relates to maybe why I had a little break-down when I came home for Christmas and saw that furniture had been rearranged in our house because my parents had gotten rid of a couch. When I demanded the reasons for this rearranging, my mom starts talking about "Well, when we go on a mission..." and "We'll need to really start sorting through things and getting rid of stuff." And, yes, the idea had been thrown out there, but I just didn't know it was actually being discussed for the very near future. And at that, I cried. Maybe it won't be that big of a deal, if they're gone, but I'm just scared to not have anybody around who cares. I really just need to be fine with this, but I don't know if I am. So, I don't think I realized at the time how big a deal it was that the Lawrences were gone for 3 years. When Kenzie got back from her mission she was completely alone and MacLane too. I guess they had each other. They were still young. Kenz was 21 when she got back from her mission. Those are definitely still "growing up" years. Of course, how isolated I would feel would probably depend a lot on where my parents went.

Now my point is that my older siblings are great people, but they aren't involved in my life. I know they have incredibly busy lives of their own, but they don't have any idea what it is like for us. When they were in college and coming home for Christmas we were all still there. We were still a family at that point. They had the secure family back at home. All my older siblings also got married a lot younger than I, I realize. It's just sad to think about the fact that they probably don't even see the difference. My siblings have moved on and are compltely engulfed in their own families. Honestly, I feel that I am a burden sometimes. Sorry, to make this blog turn depressing. I wasn't really even meaning for it to go in this direction.

Happy Easter! It's amazing to me that I have the knowledge I do of the gospel. I don't think I ever feel really worthy to have it. Life is so incredibly hard, and it is so hard to keep a perspective on the reasons for us being here.

Haven't hit the two year mark yet.

So, here I am living in "fabulous" Las Vegas. Recently, when I mentioned I didn't like living here to someone, they asked how long I'd lived here. I answered "A year and a half." They said, "Oh, well, you have to give it two years." Umm...sorry, but it shouldn't take that long to start to like a place. If you are living in a city for more than a year and don't like it, you get OUT. I don't know. If a city takes two years to live in before you start to like it, then you've moved to the wrong city.

I love Katie Smith SO much, and one time I was telling her how I kind of feel like I can't get people to really TALK to me here -- like have meaningful conversation about noteworthy topics. Her response while laughing was, "How awful! It's like living in a special ed class!" I loved it. I almost died.

My second graders and the attribute set...

Me with my second graders!

So, I don't really ever plan on teaching, BUT if I do, I want to teach 3rd, 2nd, or Kindergarten (first grade is just an annoying grade to teach, because half of them are reading and half of them aren't). Right now I'm in a 5th grade class, but I still go and visit and will sometimes teach my second graders from last semester. I like the little kids, because if you are going to be surrounded by kids all day, I think they've at least got to be cute still - they aren't cute once you're above 3rd. Notice the butterfly attribute set on the board behind us. It was a lesson I did on sorting (looking at only one characteristic/property) and classifying (looking at more than one characteristic/property). They loved the lesson and were so cute about it.

My favorite things...

Some recently decided upon favorite things of mine...AND...some recent acquisitions.


Mac makeup - I've always looked to Sephora for my makeup needs - wearing Stila, or Benefit, but I've had a change in opinion, and now really love my Mac foundation, and I've also recently bought a purple liner that I'm really excited about. Oh, and I bought a conditioning lip balm that is great too.

Soma bras - I was wanting to explore my options a little bit. I walked into Soma the other day with really no time to allow for delving into bra fitting, but after describing my requirements for a bra, one was immediately placed into my hands to try on. She basically said it was the most amazing bra she'd ever worn. So, I tried it on. I was sold on it immediately.

Michael Cera and Juno. I love this movie. I want to meet someone who doesn't even have to try hard to be cool.

Marc Jacobs Daisy perfume. So, I couldn't believe when my friend Jessica got me this perfume! What an incredibly nice gesture just to say thank you for throwing her a birthday party! I really love it.

Chi flat iron! My flat iron died on Friday, and so, my hair stylist is getting me a Chi, which I will have on Wednesday! I'm so excited!

I am passionate about Trader Joe's. I seriously am just amazed when I find yet another product I love so completely and am devoted to. Some of my favorite things...Tomato Basil Bisque Soup, the spinach salad with 1/2 a Turkey Gouda Sandwich (it's all packaged together, so it's a perfect complete lunch!), Guiltless White Cheddar Potato chips, chocolate ice cream bon bons, and there's SO much more.

Dole grapefruit cups. I get these at Costco. They are fantastic, and grapefruit is so healthy.

What are your favorite things?

My "to do" list for spring break.

So, this week has been awful, and I know it's not over, but most of the hard stuff is finished for me, and regretfully my blogging has seriously fallen behind. I so love blogging! I hope I haven't lost my readers! I'm still reading yours!

I teach one lesson tomorrow and then I'll be done with everything until after my spring break. I have been adding things to my mental list of things to do on my spring break for some time, but I've decided it's time to get it all down.

So, I'm not going anywhere for spring break. I realize this is probably pretty lame, but I seriously just feel the need to regroup. This semester has been killing me, and I'm at a breaking point. Additionally, I didn't feel I could justify spending money to go anywhere because I'm so poor. However, I apparently could justify this last week when I bought two new pairs of jeans, which were "grown-up jeans," and therefore, expensive.

Let me just explain that I've never let myself buy nice jeans (well, I bought Luckys when I got back from my mission, but I weighed like 115, and that didn't last long). I just have this totally messed up notion (I realize. Remember I grew up around surrounded by skeleton ballet dancers) that I have to be really tiny if I'm going to let myself pay that much for new jeans. However, what's the result? I can't wear them when I start eating again. So, I got down to 120 (for like a day) and that was the weight I've told myself I had to be to buy nice jeans. However, I feel okay about myself at 122 (what I'm at now) - just no more. So, I've decided I look good at 12o, or 122, and that I deserved them.

A couple times I've gotten down to 120 before and gone to try jeans on, but I just chicken out on spending that much money. So, I went to Nordstrom's, had a great girl helping me figure out which were looking good, and which weren't, and then put them on hold for a week (Sevens, and Joe's). This time I was NOT going to chicken out though. I went back before the week was up and bought the Sevens and I decided against the Joe's and got some Paiges. They are SO great and it feels amazing to have nice jeans! Well, I don't have them yet -- they are both being altered, but I'm excited. Here are some pictures (not on me). The Sevens are kind of high waisted wide, wide, leg trouser jeans, and the Paige's are also a really dark wash, and just a good basic jean, without being boring, I think. They fit great. Okay, sorry for all that...

Sevens (left) Paiges (right)

Now for my spring break list:

Car issues (headlight burned out. oil change, tire rotation)...I HATE dealing with cars.

Hair appointment (I think I'm getting more and more gray hair and I'm depressed about it) on Wednesday.

Blogging. I will get all caught up I promise.

Read. I so love books, and recently I am bombarded with only my texts books and children's literature, which I love, but I feel the need to read something "adult," and would really like some suggestions from people. I do have a million books I need to finish, but I want something that will be really engaging.

These are the books currently on my nightstand. And actually, 3 have been added to the top since I took this picture.

Television. That's right. It's on my list, but I honestly don't know if I'm really going to get to it. My plan has been to watch all of Heroes Season 1, because all the current season is still on our DVR, because I can't watch it yet. Oh, and Arrested Development is on the list too.

Getting caught up/ahead on school stuff.

Appointment with my endodontist in St. George. Yeah, my parents are (understandably so) really careful about who they let work on my mouth, because I've had a lot of work done. So, I have to go to St. George for a check-up with my endodontist. And, it's Easter, and I think Hunter will come down from Provo. Of course, Spencer doesn't know about this plan yet, but he won't even notice. That's for another posting...

Take other Gap jeans I have to make them my jeans to wear with flats. The new jeans I bought are being altered so I can wear them with heals. Remember, I'm REALLY short.

I'm actually really excited for my spring break! And I'm getting started early! I started this blog posting yesterday, so my lesson I had to teach is over, and tomorrow I just have to go to work for a couple hours, and that's it! My jeans should definitely be ready, so maybe I'll pick those up tomorrow too! Yeah!