Shout out to single friends...

So, blog readers, please permit me to dedicate this blog to my single friends.

Have some of you resorted to ldslinkup? Or match.com? Or eharmony? I wouldn't dissuade you in the least. There must be a greater likelihood of finding someone who wants to have a real relationship, because they are looking for it too. I've yet to fully embrace such methods, simply because I don't have time. But, there really doesn't need to be such animosity towards such sites. Do you agree or disagree?

So, over Christmas, Katie expressed her gratitude in the fact that Ann and I are both still single with her. I had been thinking the same thing prior to her mentioning this. So, I then contributed this...that in the Mormon rhealm it is kind of surprising that all three of us are still a part of this singlehood. Later, Katie said something to the effect that she thinks Ann and I are both "really cool" (thanks, Kate) and so it makes her feel less "bad" for being single. I feel likewise and feel grateful to Ann and Katie for being so great and for still hanging on with me. We are ALL EXTREMELY cool people, and are bearing this singlehood well. We've all graduated from college, and have gone on to get Master's degrees. We aren't just waiting around to get married, because as much as our parents have pushed marriage, they've also stressed education...I'm learning many people don't value education as highly as I do. I firmly believe that we must continue in our endeavors to be happy and productive people in society maybe despite the fact that we just really want to be married and having kids. I think it is unfortunate that people (in the church, mostly) seem to suggest we are to be unhappy in our lives because we are not married. I admit to feeling a certain "mission" in my life is not being fulfilled, but we MUST continue in our lives, and realize that it is okay to be happy with where we are at presently in our lives. Now by stating that, I am simply saying that we CAN NOT dwell on being single because it gets us nowhere. "Am I bitter?"do you ask? Maybe just a little. And to this I can only say that I've never been in love and I don't even really understand well how a serious relationship works. I, unfortunately, also seem to feel Hollywood has misconstrued our perception of what love is. I just finished watching Pride and Prejudice, which I think is wonderful, but just maybe not as amazing as the BBC version.I was struck by this statement made by Mr. Darcy..."You have bewitched me - body and soul, and from this day forth I never want to be separated from you." Has Jane Austen pinned love for what it really is? I've come to feel the decision to marry is more a matter of fact one than being about finding someone you are "in love" with (i.e. you marry if you encounter a "right" person at a point in life where both of you happen to be ready and looking for it). I'm realizing I'm beginning to sound like Bridget Jones, which is okay, because I love her. I don't know if I'll ever find my Mr. Darcy, but if being single for the rest of my life is what's in store for me, then I have to be okay with that. Don't worry though, I still feel that I'm putting forth effort.

Is the "Hollywood" type of love portrayed in the correct light? Married people...enlighten us.

I think I'm beginning to realize that some people don't know how to bear singlehood well. I believe, it's a hard stage to be in. We don't have anybody to look after but ourselves. We make decisions as a sole, and I know that I've become a very independent person. My life is lived in the order of how, what, and where I want things to be carried out. My life is very scheduled, because I want it this way. Are we too comfortable in our singlehood? Maybe, but we have no choice. What I believe to be perhaps the most difficult of these issues is that we have no one else to attach our identity to. We must continue figuring that out on our own, and honestly, it gets exhausting. I know who I am and I don't think I need to continue redefining it because I'm confronted with new people who aren't comfortable in their singlehood (Now, I realize I may just be the taddest bit defensive about this because I'm ALSO not completely comfortable in my singlehood...So, you don't need to point that out to me). Don't make me uncomfortable just because you are. Can't we all just be happy with who we are and accept people for who they are? Most we ONLY talk to people we perceive as possible mates...this is a current annoyance of mine that perhaps is for another blog posting, but just a short rambling here...some people seem to ONLY want to interact with those with whom they have a high physical attraction. What ever happened to valuing ALL people's insights and opinions? I want to interact with people who stimulate me intellectually and make me laugh. If you can't do that, please don't approach me...just a heads up.

I'll get off my soapbox now, and again...single friends...I can't say enough that you are ALL wonderful and amazing people.