I'm realizing I've produced a LONG post. Oh, well.
This might be one of the greatest article I've ever read. It details the difficulties in aging in the LDS church and coming to a ripe old age and being still (heaven forbid!) single.
It was published a couple years ago in the Washington City Paper.
It produced quite the buzz around the single's wards.
Perhaps the greatest result of the article's publication is the slew of outrageous reactions from Colonial listserve subscribers. And I'll insert some of these below.
"And to think she has so much going for her, I mean she bakes bread, she's hot, she has an excellent mastery of the english language, she pushes the limits of the Word of Wisdom (I'm not drinking coffee, I'm eating it and instead of eating it in ice cream I now just chew on the coffee beans straight, but as long as I'm not drinking it, I'm okay), and did I mention that she's hot. I guess she's proof that guys are interested in more than just looks (that is as long as she's as good looking as she says she is). I myself am looking for someone who shares a similar worldview as I do. I'm not just looking for a hot girl who goes to church. Let's just say that based on the article, I'm not surprised at her current marital status, not that there is anything wrong with it. *I would have commented earlier, but it just seemed too easy. I didn't want to be insensitive, but after thinking about it I have decided to comment. I'll try to keep it short.*"
"To all who read the article -i thought this article TOTALLY SUCKED, and futhermore, it just instills the ideas that may or may nor pre-exist in people's minds in the lds and non-lds culture. it's messed up and stupid, get over the stereotypes and move ON already! if you're not freakin married by 33 then IT'S YOUR FAULT, PERIOD. if you didn't make eternal marriage your focus -oh well, you suffer, too bad.. blah blah... don't go swearing and winning that you are not married because nearly EVERY ONE ON EARTH COULD BE MARRIED IF THEY REALLY REALLY PURSUED IT AND CARED AND PUT FORTH A STRONG EFFORT! too many people in the NOVA and DC area focus too much on their stupid careers and collegiate accomplishments....what did Richard G. Scott come to talk about about a year or so ago (SPECIFICALLY TARGETTED TO THE DC SINGLES)?.. Eternal Marriage needs to be your #1 focus after your mission (for the fella's) and your #1 focus alongside college (for the ladies).. ---if you heed that counsel there is no way you'll be 30 and over and not married (except for a rare few people who had huge remarkable things that excuse them from that -such as serving your country)! most ladies who are 33 and not married are doing 2 things wrong.. 1) they are completely focusing on everything BUT finding a guy, asking guys out, flirting, looking good for the fellas, whatever it takes to get a chicken boy to notice them and ask 'em out AND/OR 2) they are fat or overweight because they don't make an effort to exercise. shoot i could be 33, not married and fat VERY EASILY, but i KNOW i have to get off my butt, and when i'm not in the office or in a class, or at church activities, go running, be active, do some freakinsit-ups, keep myself healthy, NOT GIVE INTO the "cookies, cookies, brownies, browines, and oreo's oreo's, oh and ice cream ice cream" at EVERY SINGLE FLIPPLIN LDS EVENT! just say no. it'll become a habit and as you eat more healthy, cookies won't be appealing anymore... get over your bad habits, control them, MAKE yourself pretty for men ... heck, i would rather have a guy who's fit and takes care of himself and has a testimony, then some guy who is supposedly keeping 'all' the commandments, but some how forgets the word of wisdom and is weighing in at 335. C'MON FOLKS... get real! nobody wants to marry someone who they are not physcially attracted to... (perhaps some will, but not many) .. - if you are not attractive, old, and not married CHANGE YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE to become as beautiful as your INSIDE APPEARANCE... PERIOD! If my bishop of my single's ward can run in his first marathon in his 40's then there is NO EXCUSE for anyone else to not be physically active.THERE YA GO! i'm done. that article sucked, just like the movie "single's ward" which portrays things that needa be fixed as being "cool, normal, and okay" being 33 and not married isn't even normal as a non-LDS person... i am a recruiter for my job and make calls ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY all the time and TONS of men and women around 21-26 are married (some even have kids) -and, yeah, THEY ARE NOT LDS. it is NOT so abnormal to be 22 and happily married w/ kids as mormon culture potrays it to be -in the world outside of mormon culture. -and, mormons out of ALL PEOPLE have AMPLE opportunities to find equal companions on the same page w/ the same goals to be happily married too. ROCK ON TO ALL YOU YOUNG MARRIED COUPLES, AND PROPS TO EVERYONE IN THEIR MID-LATE TWENTIES WHO ARE GETTING HAPPILY HITCHED IN THEIR MATURE PRIME.anyways... i hope somebody woke up and got a clue from this.. no more wining from people over 30 -there is no excuse (no offense)."
"I personally think that the article was a VERY accurate portrayal of DC Single Wards and the attitudes of everyone involved with them. We all now know why M. H. is still single and I'd take a liberal Mormon wife any day over a Molly Mormon."
OH! How hurtful! Is there really a need to mention names?!!! I removed the full name because I decided I was not going to perpetuate the unkindness!
Monday, January 26, 2009
A bombardment
You are going to be bombarded with some marriage posts all at once. But they will be oh so good, and I love them, and hope you will as well.
The first comes from a self-proclaimed "25-year-old shameless diva seeks money-money-money." Her ad was posted on craigslist some time ago, and I just want to expose you all to it, because it kills me.
She received a response which is inserted below as well:
"What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?Here are my questions specifically:-* Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms -* What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings-* Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)? -* Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?-* Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?-* How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLYPlease hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth."
Suit Daddy of Doom's Answer:
"Dear Pers:I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal.Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that.So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know."
You know, I don't blame the girl. I've professed on many occasion that money is high up there on my scale of priorities.
The first comes from a self-proclaimed "25-year-old shameless diva seeks money-money-money." Her ad was posted on craigslist some time ago, and I just want to expose you all to it, because it kills me.
She received a response which is inserted below as well:
"What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?Here are my questions specifically:-* Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms -* What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings-* Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)? -* Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?-* Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?-* How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLYPlease hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth."
Suit Daddy of Doom's Answer:
"Dear Pers:I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it. Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal.Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that.So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation. With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know."
You know, I don't blame the girl. I've professed on many occasion that money is high up there on my scale of priorities.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Appearances and fashion.
My friend, Jenny, posted a very insightful piece on her blog. You can read it here.
I then made this comment:
I love it, Jenny. Very insightful. Very true. I remember loving that quote from The Duchess when I first heard it - that fashion is the one way women can express themselves. Definitely antiquated, but somehow society still depends on women to be ever conscious of our looks and appearance.
I actually had the thought today when I was briefly watching one of these style makeover shows that why is it that women aren't allowed to have facial hair when men are? (Yes, maybe my thought process is extreme, but still...I think it's a valid question). Maybe the woman had a beard, but who cares?
We are all too focused on clothing brands and appearances.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Someone once asked me "Meredith you have to work out and watch what you eat, right?" in regards to how I look physically. No one had ever asked me a question like this before (but I was living in Vegas. I should've expected it) and I remember being slightly offended. I didn't know how to answer the question.
At another time someone said to me "Meredith, you are skinny. You're lucky" and I remember replying (in my head), "No, it's not luck. It's work."
So, yes, working out is definitely a part of my daily life, and yes, I eat healthily because I want to. And I've realized that I'm glad I have to "work" at my physical appearance. I wouldn't want to just have good genes so I maybe looked good, but didn't have to eat healthily or work out. People that don't work out don't have the muscles surrounding their bones to protect them throughout their lives, and if you don't eat a variety of foods and think about what you are putting into your body, you'll regret it one day.
I was at the gym the other day and someone started up a conversation with me asking me if I was a dancer and how I stayed in shape. It's nice when people give you compliments like that because it keeps you going. I was considering taking the day off today because I had worked out hard yesterday, but I decided against it and did yoga (which is actually a HARD workout - I do the Denise Austin cardio yoga) because I remembered it just doesn't make sense to not workout if you have the time to.
I was just reading a talk in the Ensign and President Eyre made this comment "It [increasing in spiritual strength through pushing ourselves to serve others to our limits] is like building muscle strength. You must break down your muscles to build them up. You push muscles to the point of exhaustion. Then they repair themselves, and they develop greater strength." October 2008 O Ye That Embark
I'm so grateful for my health and realize that everyday it takes motivation to exercise my body and to also serve others, but the rewards in the end are invaluable. I'm not sure I have the serving others thing down yet, but I know how to work out.
At another time someone said to me "Meredith, you are skinny. You're lucky" and I remember replying (in my head), "No, it's not luck. It's work."
So, yes, working out is definitely a part of my daily life, and yes, I eat healthily because I want to. And I've realized that I'm glad I have to "work" at my physical appearance. I wouldn't want to just have good genes so I maybe looked good, but didn't have to eat healthily or work out. People that don't work out don't have the muscles surrounding their bones to protect them throughout their lives, and if you don't eat a variety of foods and think about what you are putting into your body, you'll regret it one day.
I was at the gym the other day and someone started up a conversation with me asking me if I was a dancer and how I stayed in shape. It's nice when people give you compliments like that because it keeps you going. I was considering taking the day off today because I had worked out hard yesterday, but I decided against it and did yoga (which is actually a HARD workout - I do the Denise Austin cardio yoga) because I remembered it just doesn't make sense to not workout if you have the time to.
I was just reading a talk in the Ensign and President Eyre made this comment "It [increasing in spiritual strength through pushing ourselves to serve others to our limits] is like building muscle strength. You must break down your muscles to build them up. You push muscles to the point of exhaustion. Then they repair themselves, and they develop greater strength." October 2008 O Ye That Embark
I'm so grateful for my health and realize that everyday it takes motivation to exercise my body and to also serve others, but the rewards in the end are invaluable. I'm not sure I have the serving others thing down yet, but I know how to work out.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Mission call
My parents have received their mission call.
They are going to be government/public relations missionaries and also humanitarian missionaries and will be based in Kiev, Ukraine.
They'll be gone for a year and a half only.
They are excited. And I think given about 5 choices (and they told church headquarters they were fine with any of the locations) where this type of senior couple was needed, they were most excited about this location. FYI the five places were South Africa, New Zealand, Philippines, Germany, and Ukraine. I, of course, would've maybe been most excited about New Zealand, but I'm sure this will be great too. So, my next international traveling will be over in Eastern Europe.
They will be based in Kiev, but traveling a lot throughout Eastern Europe.
Hunter and Spencer are excited, because, of course, they'll want to make a Russia trip out of their traveling over there. I hear Prague and Bangladesh are the major cities in E. Europe to see. Russia too? I maybe will let them do that on their own. I don't know how I feel about cramming a ton into a single trip. I'd rather just see a couple places more completely.
They are going to be government/public relations missionaries and also humanitarian missionaries and will be based in Kiev, Ukraine.
They'll be gone for a year and a half only.
They are excited. And I think given about 5 choices (and they told church headquarters they were fine with any of the locations) where this type of senior couple was needed, they were most excited about this location. FYI the five places were South Africa, New Zealand, Philippines, Germany, and Ukraine. I, of course, would've maybe been most excited about New Zealand, but I'm sure this will be great too. So, my next international traveling will be over in Eastern Europe.
They will be based in Kiev, but traveling a lot throughout Eastern Europe.
Hunter and Spencer are excited, because, of course, they'll want to make a Russia trip out of their traveling over there. I hear Prague and Bangladesh are the major cities in E. Europe to see. Russia too? I maybe will let them do that on their own. I don't know how I feel about cramming a ton into a single trip. I'd rather just see a couple places more completely.
An update
My camera broke months ago, which has perhaps contributed to my sparse blog posting. I've simply not much to say; however, I thought I'd at least keep one toe in the blogging world. And my camera is in the process of being fixed.
I finished my last semester of grad school in mid-December. It was a great semester. I really enjoyed my classes and feel I ended grad school on a satisfying note.
I packed up and drove across the country. My mom was nice enough to fly out on a Monday and start the drive across the country on the very same day she flew in. Monday (Dec. 15th) was the day it snowed a lot in Vegas and so we caught the very beginning of it. I think it continued snowing the following day too. We actually drove the most southern route because there was a lot of snow going through Albuqurqee (sp?); so we went even further down to El Paso, then through Dallas, Little Rock, Memphis, and then just up to Virginia. We got back to Virginia on Thursday night.
Christmas came and went and it was wonderful.
Some highlights...
1. Our after Christmas party at the Johnson's. Katie and Hunter threw this one together and it was great. It was fun to hang out with Andrea Greenwich and to catch up with Richardsons. And of course Katie and Liz Lindsey (Weber) were back to their crazy selves (they turn CRAZY when they are around each other).
2. Ice skating with the family. I always love going ice skating and I really kind of feel if I put time into it, I could be good. I'm talking like really good. So should I do it? Professional ice skater is my next career move?
3. Cleaning my room. Yes, it was kind of an annoying thing on my list of tasks to do, but it really feels good to have it accomplished. Since my parents are going on the mission, I've had to go through all my childhood stuff and clear out my room/box up my life. It was funny to go through notes and letters from elementary school and up, to finally throw out bloody pointe shoes I've been holding on to for forever, and to realize I won't need my "Coke - a proud sponsor of Meredith Swift for President [of Cooper Junior High]" posters anymore.
4. I made my jeans skinny jeans! I followed this tutorial and think it worked great!
5. I invested in some boots. I got some black boots for Christmas, but I'm really glad I went out and bought these too. NYC is FREEZING right now. I bought the camel ones, but I love the olive and black ones as well. They are on sale now at http://www.aerosoles.com/.
I finished my last semester of grad school in mid-December. It was a great semester. I really enjoyed my classes and feel I ended grad school on a satisfying note.
I packed up and drove across the country. My mom was nice enough to fly out on a Monday and start the drive across the country on the very same day she flew in. Monday (Dec. 15th) was the day it snowed a lot in Vegas and so we caught the very beginning of it. I think it continued snowing the following day too. We actually drove the most southern route because there was a lot of snow going through Albuqurqee (sp?); so we went even further down to El Paso, then through Dallas, Little Rock, Memphis, and then just up to Virginia. We got back to Virginia on Thursday night.
Christmas came and went and it was wonderful.
Some highlights...
1. Our after Christmas party at the Johnson's. Katie and Hunter threw this one together and it was great. It was fun to hang out with Andrea Greenwich and to catch up with Richardsons. And of course Katie and Liz Lindsey (Weber) were back to their crazy selves (they turn CRAZY when they are around each other).
2. Ice skating with the family. I always love going ice skating and I really kind of feel if I put time into it, I could be good. I'm talking like really good. So should I do it? Professional ice skater is my next career move?
3. Cleaning my room. Yes, it was kind of an annoying thing on my list of tasks to do, but it really feels good to have it accomplished. Since my parents are going on the mission, I've had to go through all my childhood stuff and clear out my room/box up my life. It was funny to go through notes and letters from elementary school and up, to finally throw out bloody pointe shoes I've been holding on to for forever, and to realize I won't need my "Coke - a proud sponsor of Meredith Swift for President [of Cooper Junior High]" posters anymore.
4. I made my jeans skinny jeans! I followed this tutorial and think it worked great!
5. I invested in some boots. I got some black boots for Christmas, but I'm really glad I went out and bought these too. NYC is FREEZING right now. I bought the camel ones, but I love the olive and black ones as well. They are on sale now at http://www.aerosoles.com/.
And now that the holidays have come and gone, I've moved on to the job hunting point in my life. I'm in NYC now staying with a friend. It's good to be here, but it's also hard to just not feel like I'm doing anything with my life right now. I just sit in front of my computer all day and contact people and job hunt.
If you're interested, these are the fields I'm looking in:
Publishing (children's books and/or curriculum materials)
Curriculum development
Non-profits
Literacy initiatives
Libraries/Outreach programs into the community
TV (children's broadcasting) production. I would love to write for Backyardigans or Little Einsteins. Alas, I think getting into this industry right now may prove to be difficult.
Pictures are forthcoming! I'll try and document my exciting life living in NYC. It just isn't all that exciting at the moment.
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